So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
