Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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