By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
