The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
