Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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