everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
