Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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