is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize