Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize