The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
