Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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