the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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