I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
