Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
