So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
