Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
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my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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