maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
