Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
