I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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