well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
