I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
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Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
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I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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