His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
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She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
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Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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