she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
