honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
