Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
