And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
