you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
