Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
