I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
