John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
