one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
