I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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