i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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