if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
