Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
