I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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