I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
