Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
