I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
