His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
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I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
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I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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