Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
