Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
