Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
So many bounce houses so little time
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
