Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
