No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
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No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
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At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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