go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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