the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
