Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
