It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize