Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
how does that bad decision feel?
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