Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
