The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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