dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
