Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
