im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
