If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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