Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
