I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
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Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
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Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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