we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
