Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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