he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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