yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
