we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
