dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
