He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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