i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
